Compass Points - The Big, Big Rule

A Compass Points Satire Story

Feb 26, 2023

A Compass Points Satire Story

A Compass Points Exclusive!

Once upon a Marine Corps time, in a land far, far away, there was a small, happy military neighborhood. In the happy neighborhood, lived four happy families. The four families were happy because each of them lived in their own snug, special home, and each of them had important military work to do, helping make the whole world better. In the center of the neighborhood lived the Devil Dog family.

The Devil Dog family was always going off on wonderful adventures, helping people, and making the world better.

Sadly, as well shall see, trouble can find even the happiest neighborhoods. And even good families, like the Devil Dog family, can be tempted to make terrible mistakes. Mistakes are a part of life. Most mistakes can be corrected. Most mistakes can be corrected, most of the time, as long as you never break the Big, Big Rule.

The happy neighborhood had always been shaped like a large triangle. Like all the families in the neighborhood, the Devil Dog family did not live in an ordinary home. Not at all. The Devil Dog family lived at the center of the triangle with the other three families all around - each in their own unusual home.

Along one side of the happy neighborhood was a dock with a very deep port. The port held one gigantic ship. One of the four families, the Water family, lived aboard the gigantic ship. The Water family would steam off to wonderful adventures all around the world.

On another side of the neighborhood, was a very long runway. On the runway sat one gigantic airplane. Another of the four families, the Air family, lived aboard the gigantic airplane. The Air family would take their plane rumbling down the runway and then fly off to wonderful adventures all around the world.

On the third side of the neighborhood was a huge reinforced concrete driveway as big as a football field. In the driveway sat an enormous, awesome, armored Recreational Vehicle. One of the four families, the Soil family, lived in the huge RV. The Soil family drove their RV on one adventure after another. The Soil family only got one mile per gallon driving their awesome, armored RV, but they enjoyed taking it out on the roads. Wherever the Soil family drove, it was like they brought an entire city.

The four families, the Water, Air, Soil, and Devil Dog families, had lived in their neighborhood as far back as anyone could remember. In good times and bad, in sunny weather and in storms, the four families raised their children, and lived good lives. Babies grew into children, children grew into parents, parents into grandparents.

Yes, there was a friendly rivalry among the four families, but all the families worked together, often inter-married, and always got together to celebrate births, remember anniversaries, and honor their dead.

The Devil Dog Family

In the center of the neighborhood -- among this neighborhood of very unusual homes -- lived the Devil Dog family. The Devil Dog family home was much smaller than the Water family's ship, the Air family's plane, and the Soil family's awesome, armored RV. But the Devil Dog family home, though it was small, was the most unusual home of them all.

The Devil Dog family home was a small RV. It was much smaller than the massive RV of the Soil family and there were other differences. The Soil family's huge RV had small, hard, strong tires. But the tires of the Devil Dog family RV were large and flexible for driving off-road across fields, marshes, and beaches.

Even more amazing, when the Devil Dog RV came to a pond or lake, it could just drive right into the water and power across the water clear to the other side. That is not all. The Devil Dog family RV, on its roof, sported a pair of mechanical wings. With a push of a button, the wings folded out and the little RV would leap into the air.

The Devil Dog RV was smaller and faster than the Water family's great ship. It was smaller and faster than the Air family's enormous aircraft. And it was smaller and faster than the Soil family's awesome armored RV. The Devil Dog family could launch off on an adventure and be back before the other families were even ready to depart.

Whenever the Water family, the Air family, the Soil family, or the Devil Dog family returned from their adventures, everyone in the whole neighborhood would gather to hear all the wonderful things the families had seen and all the good things they had done. Each of the families took pride in the accomplishments of all of the other families.

There was one more family. On the very edge of the happy neighborhood where the four families lived was another family. They were very new. The Moon family lived in a tall rocket ship that would often tip over in the breeze. The Moon family kept to themselves and never went on any adventures. Even though they tried to be friendly, the other families were not able to get to know the Moon family. Some people thought the Moon family might not be around long.

Upgrading Their Capabilities

Besides going on adventures, one thing took up the time and attention of each of the four families: maintaining, restoring, and upgrading, their unusual homes. The Water family was always maintaining, restoring, and upgrading its great ship. The Air family maintained, restored, and upgraded its gigantic airplane. And the Soil family was constantly maintaining, restoring, and upgrading their massive RV. The Devil Dog family did the same. Nothing ever stood still for any of the families.

Beyond the constant upkeep and upgrades, every decade or so each of the families would move into an entirely new and better home. Over the decades the Water family had moved from sails, to steam, to a nuclear powered ship. The Air family had moved from a bi-plane, to a propeller plane, to its current gigantic jet. The Soil family had started out in a horse drawn Conestoga Wagon. From there, the Soil family had moved into one larger and better wagon after another, until now it lived in its massive, awesome, armored RV.

No matter how much they had changed over the years, each of the four families was extremely careful to make sure they and their homes were always strong and ready for a new adventure. The Water family always stayed ready for water adventures. The Air family stayed ready for air adventures. And the Soil family stayed ready for ground adventures.

The Devil Dog family, of course, was a little bit different. It did not live in a gigantic ship, nor huge plane, nor in a massive RV. And the Devil Dog family was not able to prepare only for adventures on the water, or only in the air, or only on the ground. Instead, the Devil Dog family had to be prepared for adventures on the water, in the air, and on the ground.

Perhaps having to focus on the water, air, and ground is what caused the Devil Dog family to become confused. No-one knows for sure. All anyone knows is the Devil Dog family become distracted, and for a time was about to break the Big, Big Rul

The Importance of the Big, Big Rule

Over many, many years, even when the four families agreed on nothing else, they always agreed on the importance of never violating the Big, Big Rule.

As the Water family had switched from sail, to steam, to nuclear, the Water family always followed the Big, Big Rule.

The Air family followed the Big, Big Rule over all the decades as it switched from a bi-plane, to a propeller plane, to its massive jet.

And the Soil family followed the Big, Big Rule as it originally switched from a Conestoga wagon until its massive, awesome, armored RV today.

So how could the Devil Dog family have ever thought, for even a moment, of switching from its multipurpose, flying, floating, beach crossing, small RV home, without at least following the Big, Big Rule?

It all began with a pretty presentation folder. The Devil Dog family loved that presentation folder. They would sit and stare at it for hours. The glossy pictures in the presentation folder showed an artist's conception of a beautiful Pacific island. The Devil Dog family was ready, immediately, to switch from the small RV home, that had served them so well around the globe, to the new Pacific island home. Before they made the switch, though, just to be sure, the Devil Dog family went to get some advice.

The Devil Dog family took the presentation folder first to the Water family, asking for advice. The Devil Dog family opened the presentation folder and showed the Water family the full color, glossy drawing of a proposed new Devil Dog family home. In the drawing, draw by a whole team of skilled artists, the proposed new Devil Dog home was a small, beautiful Pacific island.

"Looks tiny, hardly bigger than a Prius or even a Yugo," sniffed the Water family.

"Can it fly, float, and cross a beach like what you have now?"

"No" admitted the Devil Dog family. "But it is beautiful."

“Will you still be able to immediately travel to adventures around the globe?”

“No” admitted the Devil Dog family.

“So, you’ll just be stuck on an island?”

“Yes” the Devil Dog family said glumly.

"Just make sure you follow the Big, Big rule. We never, ever switch to a new ship until the new ship proves it can do everything we need - not just in a picture. Follow the Big, Big Rule."

The Devil Dog family was disappointed by what the Water family had said. The Devil Dog family loved that artist's drawing so much it was tempted to just throw away its current home, the home that had served the Devil Dog family so well and move to the Pacific island.

The Devil Dog family took the presentation folder next to the Air family and then the Soil family with the exact same result. All three families asked, “Why would you want to give up your global adventures and stay stuck on an island? All three families always ended by warning, “Follow the Big, Big Rule.”

The Four Families Gathered

That night, all the four families gathered to celebrate a wedding. It was a joyous celebration. At the reception, amid the dancing and the cake, the adults spent much time talking to the Devil Dog family about the importance of the Big, Big Rule. The Devil Dog family would listen politely, but then would always take out the presentation folder and point at the artist's beautiful island drawings.

Just before the reception broke up, one of the young girls, having heard snatches of the adult conversation, innocently asked, "What is the Big, Big Rule?"

Instantly, all conversation ceased. The adults looked at each other. Finally, the old, grizzled, Admiral himself growled, "Go ahead and tell her. She's old enough to know."

One of the adults leaned down to the little girl and said, "Darling, you might be too young to understand, but the Big, Big Rule has been around for centuries."

"Get on with it!" yelled the Admiral.

"The Big, Big Rule says, 'Don't ever trade the horse under your saddle for a picture of a horse.'"

The little girl was thoughtful as she repeated, "Don't ever trade the horse under your saddle for a picture of a horse." She thought for another moment before her face broke into a big smile of understanding. "But it would be dumb to trade a real horse for just a picture of a horse."

All the adults smiled and nodded. All the adults smiled and nodded, except for the adults in the Devil Dog family.

Did the adults in the Devil Dog family ever learn the importance of the Big, Big Rule? Did they give up their global adventures and settle on a small Pacific island?

That is a story for another time.