A Compass Points Exclusive!
The Warfighing Twin Brothers
An FD 2030 Satire Story
In the dark years of confusion, in between the great wars, a very old Cannon Sergeant would tell young recruits a story about their history. This is the story he told.
Once upon a time in the kingdom long ago, there lived four warfighting brothers. Their family had been in charge of the kingdom's military for generations. The two older brothers were in charge of the army and the navy. The two younger brothers were twins. Still too young to be in charge, they were growing together, learning, and getting ready to lead. Since their older brothers were already in charge of the army and navy, that left just one force for the twins to one day take charge of. One day, together, the twins were destined to lead the king's own special force, the Corpus Marinus.
The Corpus Marinus was the smallest military service. The Corpus Marinus was the king's own private guard. Every member of the Corpus Marinus was wise and brave and fearless. The young twins knew that one day, the two of them would become the leaders of the Corpus Marinus. And together the twins would protect the kingdom and lead the Corpus Marinus to victory after victory.
The twins' oldest brother, who was in charge of the royal navy, he and his men in the royal navy lived in safety and luxury onboard magnificent ships that patrolled the lakes, and rivers, as well as the great sea on the shore of the kingdom. The twin's next older brother, who was in charge of the royal army, that brother and his men lived in safety and luxury behind the walls of the royal army's massive fort.
Things were different for the younger twin brothers. The twin brothers and the men of the Corpus Marinus had no safe place to sleep. While the Corpus Marinus might catch a ride on one of the royal navy's ships, or drop off prisoners won in battle at the royal army's massive fort, mostly the men of the Corpus Marinus stayed on constant patrol. Day after day, they rode their swift horses to the far reaches of the kingdom. They were always on patrol, always on the alert for the next danger. The twins rode with the Corpus Marinus into dark forests, and simmering swamps, through arid deserts, and across the snowy mountains.
The twins were identical in appearance, but very different in personality. One twin was sensible and full of wisdom, the other twin was good hearted, but so contrary that when his sensible twin brother observed it was raining, the contrary brother - just to be contrary - would argue it was dry.
Each day, the sensible twin and his contrary twin brother patrolled with the Corpus Marinus. Each night, they talked about the lessons they had learned that day and how they would run the Corpus Marinus when their time came. When they fell asleep, every night the twins were visited by the ghostly Council of Commanders who taught them even more of what they needed to know. The Council of Commanders had seen so much of war and peace across the years, they had distilled their wisdom into powerful rules. As the twins were taught, the sensible twin copied down the rules onto a sheet of paper. At the top of the sheet of paper, the sensible twin wrote,
Common Sense Rules of Battle
Rule 1. Stay always on patrol, North, East, South, and West. Never focus on just one direction.
Rule 2. Carry enough supplies with you to last 2 weeks.
Rule 3. Stay on the offense. Defend only when necessary.
Rule 4. Put the enemy on the horns of a yak.
Rule 5. Remember the Corpus Marinus is a sacred trust.
Rule 6. Select only the young and brave and train them ruggedly.
Rule 7. Never use just one arm, combine the arms of everyone, some arms holding, bows, others swords, others spears, knives, pikes and rocks.
Rule 8. Improve your weapons, but never fall in love with any one weapon.
Rule 9. Study, practice, and plan, but know that you don't know everything.
Rule 10. Never trust the royal navy.
These rules were read aloud each morning at formation and were posted on a staff outside the brother's tent. After patrolling all day, once their tent was in place, the brothers made sure the sensible rules were posted on the tall staff. That way whenever the men of the Corpus Marinus walked by, they would be reminded of the rules. Sometimes several men would gather around the staff, read the rules, and discuss them. This became known as a staff meeting.
END OF PART I – The Warfighting Twin Brothers
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START OF PART II – The Warfighting Twin Brothers
The years went by. The sensible twin and the contrary twin both grew older and stronger. Finally, their time came, and the twins were put in charge of the Corpus Marinus. All was right in the land.
As more years went by, one day some traveling salesmen from the West rolled their wagon into the kingdom. They seemed friendly. They sought an audience with the king. They dazzled the king with their new invention of war, the catapult. With the massive new catapult, the king's forces could hurl, flaming rocks at their enemies, defeating them at a distance. The king gave the salesmen permission to go talk to his military leaders. The salesmen talked to the navy and installed the massive catapult onboard navy ships. Next, they talked to the army and installed the massive catapult inside the great fort. Then, the salesmen sought out the Corpus Marinus.
The Corpus Marinus was hard to locate, because as usual, they were on patrol. Finally, the salesmen found the Corpus Marinus in a temporary encampment on the shore of the sea. The Corpus Marinus was in confusion because the sensible brother had been bitten by a snake and had fallen into a deep sleep. No one knew when, or if, the sensible brother would awake.
The salesmen met with the contrary brother. They told the contrary brother of the wonders of the catapult and how amazing it would be to defeat their enemies from a great distance.
The contrary brother said, "It is not for us. It is too heavy to move. We must be always on patrol guarding the kingdom from threats in every direction."
But the salesmen said that was not true. Any threat to the kingdom would obviously come from across the sea, from the far East. All the Corpus Marinus needed to do was wait on the shore, right where they were now, fire the catapult and save the kingdom.
The contrary brother thought of all he had been taught by the Council of Commanders. He remembered his brother's list of sensible rules. He pondered what his brother would do if he had not been bitten by a snake. Then the contrary brother smiled his contrary smile, shook the salesmen's hands, and said, "let's do it!"
Over the months that followed, while the sensible brother slept, the catapult was constructed. Large rocks were collected and coated with a flammable tar. The Corpus Marinus stopped patrolling. The men stopped practicing with the bow, the sword, the spear, the pike, and the knife. The sensible brother continued to sleep.
One day when some of the men of the Corpus Marinus were gather around the staff with the rules on it, for a staff meeting, they noticed the contrary brother had affixed a second set of rules right beside the sensible brother's first set of rules. The second set of rules was called, Contrary Rules of Battle.
Contrary Rules of Battle
Rule 1. We no longer need to patrol; the enemy is coming from the far East.
Rule 2. We do not need our own supplies; neighboring villages will give us their food.
Rule 3. Forget the offense. Stay fixed by the catapult by the sea.
Rule 4. We no longer need to put the enemy on the horns of a yak, we have the catapult.
Rule 5. The only trust that counts is trust in the catapult
Rule 6. We no longer need to recruit the young and strong; we need older, catapult scientists.
Rule 7. No need to combine our arms; we just fire the catapult.
Rule 8. The catapult has greater range than any other weapon; it is all we need.
Rule 9. Study the catapult, until you know it well.
Rule 10. Relax, we have friends in the royal navy.
In staff meeting after staff meeting, there was great confusion in the Corpus Marinus and great danger for the kingdom. Two sets of rules? Sensible rules for battle and contrary rules for battle? How could the Corpus Marinus survive as the proud, effective force it had always been? The confusion even reached the ears of some of the royal advisors. The royal advisors approached the older brother leading the royal navy and the older brother leading the royal army and asked them what should be done about the Corpus Marinus. Which rules should be followed? Should the sensible rules be followed? Or were the contrary rules the way to go? What should the Corpus Marinus do? Both older brothers looked at each other for a moment and then at the same time said, "It doesn't matter to us!"
At just that moment, on the other side of the kingdom, in the Corpus Marinus encampment by the sea, a messenger arrived with alarming news. The kingdom was about to be invaded by an old enemy. The men of the Corpus Marinus peered out across the sea, but there was no enemy in sight. The messenger was puzzled and said,
"The enemy is not coming from the East. A different enemy is attacking from the West!"
The camp went into great alarm. The men of Corpus Marinus frantically began searching for their saddles, and weapons, and all the things that had been neglected. The alarm was so great, the sensible brother, at last, was awakened from his deep sleep. Together the two brothers led the Corpus Marinus into battle. Because they arrived at the battle so late, and because they were not properly prepared, the fighting was brutal. Many men of the Corpus Marinus died. Eventually, at great cost, the invaders were repelled. Once again, the Corpus Marinus had saved the kingdom.
In the brutal fighting, both the sensible brother and the contrary brother were killed. The king proclaimed a day of mourning and celebration. The twin brothers were to be honored by a royal funeral. At the funeral, the king wanted to read aloud the Corpus Marinus rules for battle. This caused a problem. Which rules should the king read?
It was at this point in the story when the old, grizzled Cannon Sergeant always began to smile. He had a wild gleam in his eye as he finished the tale.
He explained how back then, a young, handsome Sergeant had been chosen to go and fetch the rules and bring them to the king for reading. The young Sergeant rode all night to fetch the two sheets containing the two sets of rules, the Sensible Rules for Battle, and the Contrary Rules for Battle. He carried the two sacred sheets all the way back to the massive palace gate.
Before going inside, however, he stopped to collect himself. He looked at the sensible list, and he looked at the contrary list. He thought of the two brothers. With a smile, the young, handsome Sergeant took out a match and set fire to the sheet of contrary rules. And once the contrary rules were completely burned and gone, the young, handsome Sergeant took the sheet with the sensible rules inside to the king.
At this point in telling the story, the wizened, old Cannon Sergeant would be laughing nearly out of control. He would always end his tale by cackling, "Everyone knows a fighting force can have only one set of rules!!"
Common Sense Rules of Battle
Rule 1. Stay always on patrol, North, East, South, and West. Never focus on just one direction.
Rule 2. Carry enough supplies with you to last 2 weeks.
Rule 3. Stay on the offense. Defend only when necessary.
Rule 4. Put the enemy on the horns of a yak.
Rule 5. Remember the Corpus Marinus is a sacred trust.
Rule 6. Select only the young and brave and train them ruggedly.
Rule 7. Never use just one arm, combine the arms of everyone, some arms holding, bows, others swords, others spears, knives, pikes and rocks.
Rule 8. Improve your weapons, but never fall in love with any one weapon.
Rule 9. Study, practice, and plan, but know that you don't know everything.
Rule 10. Never trust the royal navy.
(C) 2022 JDK
I believe I know which king is which. Well written! I wonder whatever happened to Generals like Lou Walt; Lewis Wilson; et.al. My "Six Actual" once told me that a one-eyed man is always King in the "Land of the Blind." My Six Actual was a wise man. So is the man who wrote this Satirical Story!
"Target! Cease Fire. Move to and occupy BP2"